i was awaken from my sleep early this morning. even before the downpour came at 6plus am.

something was gnawing in my spirit yet again. since the thoughts were not "out-of-control", i allowed the things to go through my head as i prepared myself to wake up for service.

unfortunately, the rain proved too "powerful"... i arised late and was really really late for service... i only reached at 930am!

in the words of gerry, "oh man... i think we are backsliding..." *sob*

anyways, before i get off-tangent again, i just wanna say that i received a revelation while i was worshipping God in service today. i think some pastor or speaker might have mentioned it to me before but i guess i didn't quite get it then. but during the 1st worship, i had this revelation: that deep beneath every attitude of indifference, lies unresolved hurt.

God brought to my rememberance the thoughts that were gnawing me in the morning.

it's like sometimes we just feel indifferent towards some people, some things that happen. that at times it's like so natural to us that we are indifferent towards it. perhaps there is a reasonable explanation for our attitude. but i've come to realise that many times, it's due to something that hurt us but we just choose to ignore it and not resolve it. so it evolves over time into indifference and we don't even realise that it's related to the hurt that we experienced perhaps, a long time ago.

anyways... may i resolve it soon. so that i'll do what i've been putting off for the longest time. though i know i should have done it a long long time ago...

sab will resolve the issues in her life, one thing at a time...

(p/s: i'm only human too you know... in case for some reason you didn't quite get that all this while hanging out with her.)

=)