Sunday, May 31, 2009

Another de javu moment

Today while having lunch, I had a de javu moment. And this time I'm very sure it's something that I dreamed about a long long time ago. You know sometimes you feel like it's one of those moments, but yet it's because it's actually similar to something that you have actually experienced before? But for today, I'm very sure that I dreamt of it at least a year or 2 ago. Not so sure what it means, but at least I know I'm in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing (which happened to be eating for today. Hahahaa....)

And during service today, God spoke. The way that I've been thinking of certain things, have cramped God in my life. I need to liberate the way I see and do things. Yes that is just the gist of it. For more details, please enquire within and I will examine on a case by case basis whether to disclose. =)

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Reminisce

I initially wanted to copy down the various places I went in Oslo down into my notebook during yesterday's lunch time. So that I can accurately relate the photos to their names. And I purposefully brought my borrowed Norway book to work. Or so I thought. BUT ALAS I brought the Dutch phrase book instead! Sigh. Thankfully I brought along my bible.

While I was sitting there, it just felt like sometimes when God wants us to do things that we didn't exactly plan to do, it's amazing how He works. Cos actually many times I brought my bible there planning to read, I was always preoccupied with doing other things, reading other books. And yesterday, I was "robbed" of all my choices. =) Which is totally fine with me, since I must confess that I haven't been very faithful with catching up my bible reading...

Just the day before I was at another place close by and I wrote down lots of stuff that I wanna / have to do. But just sitting there eating and reading, many thoughts crossed my mind.

Like how my meal reminded me of Oslo:

Smoked Salmon!!!

Ok fine, shall stop being lame.

On a more serious note:

- I missed my SOT days. The times when we could praise & worship God daily, feed on His word every single day.

- I missed those times where I attended BS weekly. Those times especially in HW, attending PM's classes was one of my highlights every Wed. I've run out of things to attend now for the time being.

- I missed my Power House times. The place where I learnt to pray and tarry in His Presence.

- I missed my mission trips. Just thinking about them makes me wanna drop my stuff and go...

So many other things just ran through my mind and suddenly this verse that I was reading jumped up at me:

Ezra 3:12-13
"But many of the priests and Levites and heads of the fathers’ houses, old men who had seen the first temple, wept with a loud voice when the foundation of this temple was laid before their eyes. Yet many shouted aloud for joy, so that the people could not discern the noise of the shout of joy from the noise of the weeping of the people, for the people shouted with a loud shout, and the sound was heard afar off."

I remember PZ talking to us from this verse before quite some time back. And a tinge of sadness filled me. Some things may have changed. But I'm determined to get it back again.

For starters, my focus must change. Plus what we've just learnt in SOS just now, I'm definitely on the right track.

Jesus now change me and mould me
That I can be
Evermore true to Thee

In remembrance of possibly our last Happy Hour

For various reasons, this might be my last cup of Bandung & rum in the brown bldg and so this is taken in remembrance of it... =)

Absolutely funniest photo I've ever taken..

This is the absolutely funniest photo that I've ever taken in my life...

Thursday, May 28, 2009

doesn't like it when people refuse to respond... *argh*

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The song ringing in my head now - With All I Am

INTO YOUR HAND
I COMMIT AGAIN
WITH ALL I AM
FOR YOU, LORD
YOU HOLD MY WORLD
IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND
AND I AM YOURS, FOREVER
JESUS, I BELIEVE
IN YOU
JESUS, I BELONG
TO YOU
YOU'RE THE REASON THAT I LIVE
THE REASON THAT I SING
WITH ALL I AM
I'LL WALK WITH YOU
WHEREVER YOU GO
THROUGH TEARS AND JOY
I'LL TRUST IN YOU
AND I WILL LIVE
IN ALL OF YOUR WAYS
AND YOUR PROMISES, FOREVER
I WILL WORSHIP , I WILL WORSHIP YOU
I WILL WORSHIP , I WILL WORSHIP YOU
I WILL WORSHIP , I WILL WORSHIP YOU
I WILL WORSHIP , I WILL WORSHIP YOU

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Catch me (online) if you can

Hihi! (this is like their most common greeting here...)

How's everyone back in Singapore? I'm currently updating my blog now cos we just came back from shopping and walking around. Waiting for dinner and going for some drinks later. Having some free time cos the Queen is sleeping (or at least trying to unless she finds my typing too noisy?) Hee... Well, she should not be sleeping at like 5.33pm in the afternoon right? *tsk tsk

Anyway, my Oslo trip is coming to a close. Going to catch the 17.35 flight to Amsterdam (hopefully this time round I will NOT miss my transfer flight back home) tmr and so things are kinda slowing down... ... Unless something interesting happens later when we go for drinks? *hmm

It's been a pretty good break so far. Not having to work or even think about it is in fact a kind of liberation to me. Seen so much and been to so many places over the passed few days that it's kinda sad that everything to going to end in about 24hrs time once I board my flight. But well, of course at the other end awaits my family and friends that I wished some could have joined me on my trip. And other "friends" that would just disappear forever (hahaa, just joking...)

A couple of things that I noticed here:
a) the people here are generally BEAUTIFUL
b) you will see a pregnant lady or a pram once every 30secs
c) trams are CLEAN though you can eat and drink on it
d) most things are really expensive except for clothes and shoes which are relatively comparable to back home
e) sun rises at 4plus am and sets after 10pm (wonder what does winter feels like if spring is freezing, especially when it rains)
f) graffitti are all over the tracks in between the tram stations and some are so amazingly creative
g) everyone loves to have an ice-cream cone or two everyday even though the temperature is usually about 10C to 17C
h) the dogs here are HUGE
i) so are the birds, really scary
j) dogs and bicycles are allowed on all forms of transportation here
k) transport fare is done based on integrity, u can walk in and out of the station & various without showing a pass of any sort until the conductor comes to check, which so far I've not met a single one in 7 days

Hopefully I'll have time on Sun and probably Mon to really pack my stuff and upload my photos here and in FB. If only my humble camera could capture all the sights, sounds and people here. Until then, I need to wake the Queen up for dinner and set off for the night.

Cheero.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

17 May 2009

Location: Amsterdam
Time: 7.50am
Weather: Rainy & gloomy

Yes the most unfortunate has actually happened... Yours truly here missed her connecting flight to Oslo. And because of that, she will reach Oslo like 3hrs later than scheduled and have nothing to do while waiting for the 2nd boarding time.

The security check took the longest time. 1st the guy asked me where I was going and for what. When I told him that it was for vacation and to visit a friend, he asked for an official invitation letter. Like who would write an official letter for this? Hmm... Next he asked for my return air tix and said that 'btw, he's hungry...'
*gosh*
Last question was whether my friend was a boy or a gal, and when I said it was a gal, he wolf-whistled and raised his brows. AND that encounter, cost me my flight.
*argh*

Not to mention the horrendous 30mins queue as a prelude to this custom check; there's my 3hrs of Oslo...
*sob Sob SOB*

Anyway, I've decided to freshen up and prepare myself for immediate sight-seeing. Bye peeps! =)

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Pre-flight thoughts

Yes I've finally finished packing.

As I sit here to take a break before preparing to leave for svc & the flight tonight, many thoughts cross my mind. Perhaps it's the time of the day, a lazy Sat aftn. Or perhaps it's the weather, dark clouds looming as if ready to pour any moment.

This feel of sitting here with no rushing agenda is almost foreign to me. My TTD for later is basically just attend svc then go down to the airport to check-in and then wait for boarding time. I've prepared books n music so it should be a pleasant wait cum plane ride until I reach Oslo.

So it dawned upon me that all this while, I've been rushing and rushing and rushing... So many things to do with my pathetically little time. Even sleep is a rush, so that I can get enough rest until the next alarm rings. And then this cycle continues again. So little time to do what I want to and need to, all bogged down by the capital W...

The passed 2 weeks have been almost horrid at the brown bldg. Times when I fought back my tears so as not to appear weak once again surfaced. *argh* Why am I going in circles again & again. I need to get out, no more ridiculous things - so ridiculous that I laughed when I heard it.

And some people that are dear to me (still) & was once close have quietly slipped away. This is by far the biggest blow. But well, all this is going to change because of one word -

FAITH

We've been learning once again on faith during cg meetings the last 2 weeks. It was not easy preaching on faith, when things are not exactly going the way you want it to. But then I realise that's exactly when we need faith. Not when everything is going well, but when the rubber meets the road and friction with lots of discomfort occurs. And recently in that brown bldg I've been having lots of de javu moments. Which is like an assurance to me that for now, I'm still where I'm supposed to be. But I felt a change in my spirit yesterday, being reminded once again of things which are so so so important not to be compromised but through all the rushing has been forgotten. And so renewed strength comes and this time I will mix it with God's Word, with Visualizing, with Confession.

I will walk out of this circle.

Off to higher lands (literally) and greater heights (and sights)!

Take care my friends. =)

Flight Details...

Departure

From Singapore to Amsterdam (Schiphol)
Flight number: KL0838
Departure: 22:50 Sat 16 May 09
Arrival time: 05:50 Sun 17 May 09

From Amsterdam (Schiphol) to Oslo ( Oslo Gardermoen)
Flight number: KL1141
Departure: 07:10 Sun 17 May 09
Arrival time: 08:55 Sun 17 May 09

Total journey time: 16 hours 5 minutes

Return
From Oslo ( Oslo Gardermoen) to Amsterdam (Schiphol)
Flight number: KL1148
Departure: 17:35 Sat 23 May 09
Arrival time: 19:30 Sat 23 May 09

From Amsterdam (Schiphol) to Singapore
Flight number: KL0837
Departure: 21:30 Sat 23 May 09
Arrival time: 15:55 Sun 24 May 09

Total journey time: 16 hours 20 minutes
-------------------------------------------------------------

yes peeps... it's FINALLY here.

tomorrow is THE DAY.

*gasp*

Thursday, May 14, 2009

When coaches turn into pumpkins

Yes as the clock strikes 12, I'd like to leave you with 3 lovely photos from my Bali trip. I'm still waiting for the better end of my deal, 3.2mp photos to exchange with 8mp ones...

RL & me after our spa. It was indeed a unique experience... hahaha...

it's not just our names, all 3 of us are inside as well. can u guess which is me? hahaha..
think: the other 2 are normal, sAb is sub-normal

my favourit-est sunset photo
NITEZ to One & All

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Happy Hour

I dragged myself up early this morning to pray. Ok well it wasnt as early as what I set my alarm to be, but at least I managed to pray coherently. Hee.

Or at least good enuff to break my shoe. My heel broke when I crossed the road this morning. Thank God there werent any cars, else... I was considering going home to change another pair, but that would mean that I would be super late for work and hence I decided to tip-toe cum limp all the way to office. And hence I ended up wearing my gym shoes the whole day! =) Decided against buying a new pair of shoes for the following reasons:

1) I just bought like 4pairs last week, waiting to be delivered to moi soon!
2) I wanted to bring this pair home for my Oslo trip this sat
3) SO that I can go buy a new pair of running shoes for my gym and use this comfy pair for walking in new ground. Hee.
4) Someone didnt come in today. *whoopie* =)

And almost everyday similar thought cycles run through my head. With the top 2 being "why is it that everyone can go home early while I've tons of ........" and "once again will this be another mth that they b***f me".

*argh* Nuff said for that.

With someone not being around, HAPPY HOUR started after 6pm. Today we had a nice person come make drinks for us. REALLY NICE!!!! Bandung PLUS rum! I really felt that the drink was very light. So light that I initially thought he mixed the Bandung with unwashed blender cos I could only faintly taste some alcohol. But nevertheless to prevent myself from being dehydrated for this sat, I downed almost my whole bottle of water. And when I came back from the loo, I got the shock of my life. My neighbour's face was CODE RED! It sure was hilarious cos few moments ago she was still laughing at another fellow for feeling giddy with 1 cup and here she was ... Hahahaaa..... Nothing happened to yours truly, I've had lots of practice every now and then. Hee...

But well, everyone left after Happy Hour ended at 7plus. While the 2 thoughts still haunted me as I toiled on, this time I was determined NOT to be the last to leave.

And I wasnt. Though I'm still praying hard for this Friday. Please join hands, and pray tog with me right now... Dear God...

Driving Test

I logged into Facebook and saw this:

Zhao Naijie pass lo... lol
Zhao completed the quiz "Driving Test " with the result Excellent Driver.

I literally LOL.

Cos earlier today he took the same test with this:

Zhao Naijie haha... next time c who dare to sit inside my car...
Zhao completed the quiz "Driving Test " with the result Accident Waiting To Happen.
Result: POOR SCORE You are an ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN. You didn’t score well on the test. You better hit the books and try again before you cause a car crash and hurt yourself and/or others.

And this was what I commented:
wei. u better retake this quiz else i dun let u cont ur bike lessons!

And so he went to retake the test! *hahaha*

Such cute members I have ya? =)

*love ya all dears*

Quality Time

Yes the above is my Love Language. So to let me know that you love me, you must be willing to spend time with me. haha...

Alrite why do I talk about that out of the blue? Well, yesterday I had the opportunity to spend quality time with not just 1, but 2 of my frds. *happie* =)

Though it was really a quick lunch, considering that we spent almost 30mins to find seats and buy our delicious Subway meals; it still was time well spent to me. Sometimes I'm so tired of all the things happening in the "freezer" that I just lunch alone (but in the cool-est place to me). I need time (no matter how short) to recollect my emotions & thoughts, my best soul lunch time.

Dinner was almost impromptu. Dear JenS just sms me in the afternoon and initially I thought it was going to be kinda hard for us to meet up before I fly (she flies off when I return) but we made it happen! =) She brought me to this really NICE beef noodles place across Bras Basah. It was amazing! For $6, I had 12 beef balls in my noodles! 12!!!

HOWEVER, the shop closes really early. We reached at abt 820pm (my bad) and they started to pack by 850pm. I was so hurried in my eating that it was almost like a competition to me man. JenS of course finished before me, and so did the table behind us that came after us. *argh* Well, i'm really trying to catch up. I'm sure my mbrs will agree with me that I'm really trying. =)

And then we went over to Raffles Starbucks. I initially wanted to check my facebook inbox cos I was expecting The Queen to msg me, but my connection failed and so.... we had time to talk. Heh. Time well spent. =)

JenS is really cool man. I was telling her that sat is going to be my 1st time taking a plane alone and you know what is her response?

"Are you for real? I took a plane alone when I was 16!"

Ah well. At 16 I was still a nerd, inside & out. Planes are for parents-sponsored family trips...

The amazing thing with us was actually what brought the 2 of us together. If I'm correct, it should be DBS Hire Purchase & Audio Budget. Haha. Well, one of the things that I get to keep as "souvenir" after no longer being on staff. One of the many things that I will hold dearly to.

Thanks JenS. =)

Monday, May 11, 2009

STOP

yes, finally after so many irritated entries & days, sab has finally decided to stop.

to STOP COMPLAINING!!!

she has finally had enuff of such negativities, such self-pity moments.

positive confessions & positive living & breakthru miracles - ALL START NOW!

*cheers to happier days ahead... =)

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

DIS-satisfaction

this is another one of those nights where i'm still around in office. but then again, how often am i not in office at 8plus? i'm currently making down the timings daily, just to do a check. i really need to quickly finish my stuff and rush to zm...

in the midst of all the work, there are some thoughts running through my head since morning. i'm tired of status quo. tired of always seemingly breaking through, yet falling back to square 1. tired of trying sometimes. just sometimes, which is like now.

so here are some random words i have to say to some people. you can try to make a guess if i'm talking to you, IF i really am talking to you that is.

to you: please stop apologising when you do not mean it. i'm really quite fine with you telling me the truth. in short - just stop lying to me, to us.

to you: i miss you loads dear! looking fwd to seeing you in 12 days! =)

to you: sometimes i'm really at my wits end on how to help you. i really want to, so please tell me how.

to you: so when are we meeting up? i miss spending time with you, you and you! =)

to you: i do not know where to start to get into your life again. whenever i think of the times we shared in the past, a tinge of sadness always fills me and makes me ask, 'what happened'? is there a way we can go back to where we were.

to you: tks for making me smile. =)

Monday, May 4, 2009

yes my dearest ones.... I'M BACK!!! =)

had a really cool trip doing basically... nothing! HAHAHA....
nothing accomplised, but went for countless spa massages, beach walks, shopping trips (which all where unfruitful sadly...), delectable eating, swimming & sunsets watching...

basically, making merry! heh.

will upload some photos and give commentarys on stuff once i have the time n once my friends wake up fr their slumber to send me their photos. we reached home at like 4am this morning and they both skipped church! *tsk tsk*

only hardworking me reached home at 430am, tried to sleep and woke up for service at 8am! *pats myself on my back*

yes... back to reality as i busy myself with month-end ONCE AGAIN. didnt we just finish year-end? if only financial periods never end...

sigh. ah well. soon. Soon. SOON.