Saturday, May 16, 2009

Pre-flight thoughts

Yes I've finally finished packing.

As I sit here to take a break before preparing to leave for svc & the flight tonight, many thoughts cross my mind. Perhaps it's the time of the day, a lazy Sat aftn. Or perhaps it's the weather, dark clouds looming as if ready to pour any moment.

This feel of sitting here with no rushing agenda is almost foreign to me. My TTD for later is basically just attend svc then go down to the airport to check-in and then wait for boarding time. I've prepared books n music so it should be a pleasant wait cum plane ride until I reach Oslo.

So it dawned upon me that all this while, I've been rushing and rushing and rushing... So many things to do with my pathetically little time. Even sleep is a rush, so that I can get enough rest until the next alarm rings. And then this cycle continues again. So little time to do what I want to and need to, all bogged down by the capital W...

The passed 2 weeks have been almost horrid at the brown bldg. Times when I fought back my tears so as not to appear weak once again surfaced. *argh* Why am I going in circles again & again. I need to get out, no more ridiculous things - so ridiculous that I laughed when I heard it.

And some people that are dear to me (still) & was once close have quietly slipped away. This is by far the biggest blow. But well, all this is going to change because of one word -


We've been learning once again on faith during cg meetings the last 2 weeks. It was not easy preaching on faith, when things are not exactly going the way you want it to. But then I realise that's exactly when we need faith. Not when everything is going well, but when the rubber meets the road and friction with lots of discomfort occurs. And recently in that brown bldg I've been having lots of de javu moments. Which is like an assurance to me that for now, I'm still where I'm supposed to be. But I felt a change in my spirit yesterday, being reminded once again of things which are so so so important not to be compromised but through all the rushing has been forgotten. And so renewed strength comes and this time I will mix it with God's Word, with Visualizing, with Confession.

I will walk out of this circle.

Off to higher lands (literally) and greater heights (and sights)!

Take care my friends. =)